You came with the rain // A letter to Ezra

IMG_2606You came with the rain. Two weeks ago today. We had decided a rainy day would be the best kind of day for you to arrive. And I guess you felt the same. You took your time, that’s for sure. You made us wait in anticipation for what seemed like a lifetime. We just couldn’t wait to meet you.

I was so excited to feel the first pains of labor on a Saturday morning around 9:00. Your dad was so religious about keeping the time between each pain. We weren’t sure if it was “real labor”. So we decided to take a walk… and it being rainy outside we went to the only other place that made sense. Target. We walked around for a good hour or so, pains became closer together and more intense, we headed home.

Contractions continued for the rest of the day, we started getting a pretty good sense you’d be here soon. Dad went on a mad cleaning spree, he wanted to make sure everything was perfect for your arrival. I tried to relax.

Aunties Erin and Lindsay arrived that evening. They drove hours so they could be there when you arrived. Erin made us spaghetti, I played the piano for you, and we tried keep the house mellow and calm.

Contractions went on for a good 12 hours. Around 9:00 pm I decided I needed the midwives there. Contractions were about 3 minutes apart and they were no picnic, I’ll tell you that much.
When the midwives, (Michelle and Emily), got there, they checked your heart beat right away. It was so clear and strong.

There were many times throughout my labor that they would check your heart beat to find that same steady beat. I was constantly thinking of how strong you must be and what YOU were experiencing through all of the madness! It was such a journey for you too!

2:00 am rolled around and we all thought you’d be here any minute. I got into the warm birthing tub, trying to stay as relaxed as possible. Your dad massaged my back, gave me mental and physical support, and was in position for you to come. But somewhere in this transition I think you got a little confused on where you were supposed to be and when! You flipped to the other side and dilation stopped completely. For 5 hours. We tried everything! Lunges down the stairs, stomping around the kitchen, it was REALLY hard and excruciating work. Finally there was a moment I KNEW you were almost here.

I literally bolted up to our bedroom, refusing to have another contraction on those stairs. I told Michelle I felt like I could push, that you were close. She checked and sure enough, you had decided it was time. The last 20 minutes felt like such a relief. We were finally working toward something and could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got in the tub, your dad held me up by my arms. I could feel his body shaking, he was exhausted. He hadn’t left my side for the entire 24 hours.

After what seemed like only a few short pushes, you made your entrance. You were so beautiful. So full of life, I cant describe it. I was in shock as I held you, it didn’t feel quite real until I noticed your dad, hugging us both and crying tears if joy. At that moment, it was real. You had your eyes open immediately, so eager to meet your parents and see the world.

Your dad and I can’t wait to show you everything that is beautiful. You have been such a joy already in your short 14 days of life. I cry just thinking about how much you have changed already. Everyday I want you to stay just as you are, but as each day passes I love you even more.

There are so many people in your life that love you. So many people excited to meet you and watch you as you grow. I hope you know that and remember that forever. You are my true joy.

I love you, Ezra.

Love, Mom.

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Some Serious Photo  Cred: Erin Fonnesbeck Photography

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23 Comments

  1. Such a beautiful letter to your son! I am so happy for all of you and that you had so much love surrounding you when you needed it the very most! Congratulations to you and Clay, and to Ezra for picking wonderful parents!
    Love from Ember

    Reply
  2. Anita in SC

     /  March 16, 2014

    Beautiful!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  3. clj

     /  March 16, 2014

    When I read “Love, Mom” at the end of your letter, it hit me that you are a mother with a son! It doesn’t get more profound than that. Seeing the photos and reading your letter to Ezra left me pondering this miraculous event—Beauty beyond words. Love to our new little family of three. Mom.

    Reply
  4. Linda Lorick

     /  March 16, 2014

    Lauren:

    I feel the joy within our soul. Much love to you and Clay as you rear darling EZRA!
    Loving your from South Carolina!

    Reply
  5. Congratulations – this brought tears to my eyes! So excited for you :)

    Reply
  6. Congratulations – this brought tears to my eyes. So happy for you!

    Reply
  7. Lindsay johnson

     /  March 17, 2014

    Love. This. Post. I can’t believe he is two weeks old already and how much he has grown up already! I know very well the sadness of babies changing but also falling even more in love with them every day. It’s a funny thing. I love him so much, He made you a mama! Which is the best thing in the world to be. Xo

    Reply
  8. Kelsey

     /  March 17, 2014

    Absolutely beautiful – the words, the photographs, and little Ezra. So many happy thoughts your way. =)

    Reply
  9. Such a beautiful story. Amazing photos. Thank you for sharing such an intimate part of your life with us. God bless you and your family.

    Reply
  10. Amazing.

    Reply
  11. i love your story & pictures. they are so beautiful & you do not look like you had just gone through labor in them. he is SO darling i love that little boy

    Reply
  12. CeCe

     /  March 17, 2014

    Beautifully written! Congratulations and best wishes!

    Reply
  13. rosenny ramirez

     /  March 17, 2014

    Beautiful. I got goosebumps and tears. Congratulations!

    Reply
  14. This is so beautiful. Especially the photos, what a joy to read, thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  15. jolene

     /  March 19, 2014

    Not only is the whole thing beautiful, but it is a beautifulthing for you to share this. It’s a little bit of heaven right here on earth. It touched me deeply as I too, felt like I was almost right there sharing it with. Congratulations, both of you and give my compliments to the photographer (s)? This will be Ezra’s legacy forever.

    Reply
  16. Love this sweet letter Lauren.

    Reply
  17. Tatum

     /  March 20, 2014

    This is so beautiful, Lauren. Thank you for sharing that experience. I shed a tear! I can’t wait to see you all.

    Reply
  18. So so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with the blogoshere. Hugs to you all.

    Reply
  19. My baby boy is 1 year old now but I can still remember vividly his birth story. Your post has inspired me to write his birth story down, just in case the details become a blur in the future.

    Congrats on your baby, you have a beautiful family….and beautiful pictures to capture it all.

    I live in SoCal too and would love your recommendation on your midwives, interested for the future babies.

    Reply
    • Of course! We loved our midwives. Her name is Michelle Freund and her practice is called Birth Matters. The care is so personalized, we had a great experience.

      Reply
  20. There is nothing more joyful than a successful birth! Happy, happy, happy! And welcome Ezra. :-)

    Reply
  21. Stumbled upon your blog and wow…just wow. This post brought me to tears, it was so beautifully written and photographed. Thank you for sharing this momentous day! Makes me look forward to it someday. Congratulations!!!

    Reply
  22. Ashley

     /  June 21, 2014

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful birth story. I love how calm and nurturing it felt; both in writing and in the photographs. Congratulations on your healthy son, and on your empowering experience.

    Reply

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